We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
