Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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