someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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