he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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