What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
