To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
