Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
my being single is dangerous.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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