i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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