so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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