Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
