The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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