Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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