Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Randomize
