just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
