I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
