I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
