I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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