Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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