i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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