so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
