I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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