last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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