She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
