just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You smell like a Billy Joel song
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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