Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize