They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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