She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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