They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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