I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
