She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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