Will you blow on my dice?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
