The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
