Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
