shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
