In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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