youre lurking in front of me
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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