Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
