I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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