WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
