just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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