great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
