is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
