I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
