We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
