I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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