what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
this is an emotional support booty call
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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