Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
