first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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