Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize