I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
