one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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