I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Randomize
