Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
