4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
