I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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