New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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