I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
is it fun? or sober?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
