if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
