wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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