Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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